Now the dream is over.
02.06.24
E15:15
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Music o' the Entry: "Epitaph of Alan and Cerl", Breath of Fire (OverClocked Remix)
Anou, I'm alone now. Meaning that my family, minus myself, is currently in Texas on their vacation and I'm at home by myself. This has both positive and negative traits, in that I'm digging the quiet and to be frank, "peace", but I also dislike too much quiet and despite how I might rail against it at times, visiting Texas isn't so bad. VISITING Texas; it reminds me of how when I lived in Louisiana and Alabama I enjoyed visiting Washington and now I live in the damn state, thanks to Fate hating me and whatnot. Although I must say, Washington is a drastic improvement over Alabama; pretty much of the only feature of that state that wasn't awful was my friends there, who miss and should really call/write/contact/etc...still, I digress. Basically, I'm alone and getting used to it, plus my main unhappiness with not going is that where my extended family lives in Texas is a mere six hours by car from my hometown of Sulphur, Louisiana, which I haven't seen in too long and would dearly love to visit. I dunno, my summer thus far is...strange. Perhaps "unnatural" would be the better term...because this is the first time I've actually been in the United States for summer since that of 1999, and it feels wrong. I have too much free time, I SHOULD be in school...I wish very much to take summer classes at the university so I can kill some of my general requirement classes (which I'm presently finding quite obnoxious) but the gas money isn't worth it for taking only one or two classes...it just doesn't feel right. Yeah, right now I'm experiencing some fun Nishinomiya-ikitai-ity (I have no idea, I don't get along with English. Or Japanese. Or pretty much any form of communication, apparently.), little flashbacks of areas of the city, some unexpected Soba stuff in the head which is far from desired, wishing to go karaoking, sento, melon soda, music magazines, the ACTA library, Kaiyukan, chu-hi, ume-shu, yakisoba, CD shopping...basically, I want my summer life back, if that makes sense. But I know I can't so I'm going to try not to worry about it. It's just saddening, you know? Still, I have things to occupy me here and I AM going to go back...it's strange, because I want to go back to Japan. For a long time. And I know this. I mean, if I had done things the way I planned, I would've been packing for departure in August...but I would've also come back to no university, no degree, nothing. So I suppose I'm better off this way, going back after I have some education to my name other than a high school diploma (which I won't even receive until Friday of this week at the absolute earliest, thanks to my moronic counselor. Yeah, I thought I was done with that prick but in addition to hating me, Fate also enjoys mocking and laughing at me.) but I seem to oscillate between periods of determination to return and periods of resignation to stay in the US, which depend on what other people want. Specifically Matt. Which makes me sad, because I refuse to force him into doing something I wish that he doesn't...and while he'll never force me (nor try to) to go or not go somewhere, I'll acquiesce regardless. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a chump. Oh well, no sense in whining, I'm the only one who can fix that, it occasionally makes me wish I was single, so I could do what I want, control my own destiny. But that's selfishness, and it's an innate thing in every person, though that doesn't justify such. I'd like to be better than that, and I'm sure what Matt would think if he heard that...but I'm certain at times he wishes he wasn't "attached", that he could be free to do exactly what he pleases...it's why I've always envisioned my future alone...but things seldom work out the way they were intended, sometimes for the best. So let's hope that's how this is. I'm sure this is just a passing thing, such nostalgia is to be expected...it's just acute because it truly doesn't feel like it was a year ago. That or a year is shorter than I perceive, which is entirely likely; it seems strange to be that I'll be 19 in six months, I just turned 18, right? Blah. Furui ni narimasu ne?
But enough about that. Yes, it's time for the obligatory FINAL FANTASY X RANT, presented in illegible black text out of courtesy to those who haven't finished it. Ikuzou!
Yes, I finally finished Final Fantasy X, and am pleased to say I loved it although the last things about it were...lackluster, in my opinion. First off, final dungeoun, Sea of Sorrows: quite nice, I enjoyed the visuals and whole weirdness of quasi-non-traditional-space-time-ness atmosphere. However, that was about as far as my happiness with the final dungeon went. Not for difficulty, because it wasn't, but it just didn't impress me. I suppose I'm referring to the atmosphere, which is constituted by both music and graphics, the latter of which I don't usually care about...I don't know, it just seems like it could've been done better post battle with Seymour Omnis. Speaking of which, what exactly WAS that? I'm rather confused about Seymour, he wasn't developed terribly...I would've liked them to go into more detail about how he became the way he is, pretty much the only sections about that were whenever Jyscal would speak and when one acquires Anima...for instance, why is Baaj Temple nigh-inaccessible? I don't know, of course this was also only the first time for me to play through it and the ending was traumatic (thank you "Suteki da ne") and kinda rushed (Matt and I beat it around 3:00 AM a couple days ago), so I suppose what I actually need is storyline clarification. Sort of like what I need to do with Xenogears and Chrono Cross. As for the bosses...I must say, I was surprised by the choice of "Otherworld" as the Jecht battle music though it wasn't terrible...but my main beef was the appearance of the final bosses, Jecht and Mr. Yu Yevon (for some reason every time of speak of him I feel compelled to preface his name with a "Mr.". Don't ask.)...Jecht just looked retarded (although I was amused by his Utena-esque sword appearance) and Yu Yevon was an...arachnid? Yeah, I'm confused. Then there's my issue with Auron. NANI?! They didn't even give him a bloody FMV! It's AURON, people, the badass mutha who...wasn't terribly nice, but he owned us all anyway...then there was the entire thing with Tidus...which I had inadvertantly found out long ago, thanks to a certain song, and which was horrifically sad...still, it was interesting, because I was observing it with Matt, who played the Japanese version, and who said that in that version, Yuna's final words to Tidus were "Arigatou", not "I love you"...but I suppose one has to take contextual implications into consideration and it's quasi-synonymous...But enough of that, possibly more later. Ja!
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Ekairos
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