Trapped.
２月２５日（月）Dzien Postny
・23:45
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No time to write, just felt like saying that currently I am feeling my sheer dependence and lack of ability to escape my house in a painfully acute fashion...for a long time. I cannot move into an apartment, a dorm, nothing-I have no money and I have no possibility of getting a job for the next three weeks, minimum. Due to the results of my FAFSA, I'm fairly sure I won't be able to get a loan...more dependency. Even then my transportation would be courtesy them. I sit here typing on the computer that my father's job provided, wearing clothes that his salary purchased and crying. Maybe it wouldn't seem so bad if I had somewhere to go when I'm upset, someone to go to, but unfortunately I do not; everyone else is asleep and won't impede on them with my hysterionics and Matt's just too far away. Gah, now I'm sounding melodramatic and cheesy. My parents don't beat me or anything, never have...but every single day here gets more and more unlivable, a constant reminder that I have to get out of here to retain sanity, I'd just like to have a day when coming home wasn't my least favourite part of the day. Not from leaving my friends, but because I know it won't be pleasant when I get there. Living here just makes me sad, that's all. And I imagine my living here isn't all that pleasant for them either. I feel like such a whore, but there's nothing I can do.
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