I hate math and Finland へ行きたい。
02.11.23
・03:27
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Once again I steal a moment to write, this time at nearly...3:00 AM. Which is very unusual for me, given I've been falling asleep relatively promptly, about 12:00-1:00 AM consistently. Crazy stuff, given today was one of the almighty split shifts at work that I do love so well. Ahem. Anyway, things have been going...just going. I can't really say if they're good or bad, because they're both, and I think by now I've finally managed to ease myself into a constant state of "jaded" so it's just sort of...whatever. Not a terribly eloquent descriptive in any sense of the imagination, but you get the idea. To sum it up, I'm very very tired of this quarter, which isn't exactly a novel statement; I'm sure pretty much all students, regardless of high school, junior high, university or whatever are sick of this quarter/semester/trimester/thing. Still, here's the way things are going. As I've mentioned before, my Precalculus I class was taking over my life rather prettily, making me remarkably stressed when I'm prone to a rather high steady rate of anxiety to begin with. I was spending many many hours on it, but evidently that didn't do jack, because at this point my average is too low for me to possibly pass with a 2.0. At first, I was very upset about this; it's not as if it took me by surprise, I knew I wasn't doing well but I was doing my best and a fat lot of good it did me this time. But I digress; I was upset, but I've gotten to the point where I don't care any longer and am past it; now I get to look forward to repeating the class come winter quarter. As one might imagine, I find this more than a tad embarrassing-I'm used to doing well, as arrogant as that sounds. Or perhaps it doesn't? I've no idea, my ideas on arrogance and humility seem skewed to the rest of the American populous somehow. Suffice to say that failing classes is not a common occurrence for me, and this is the worst I've done since my most horrid year of school, 8th grade (which I came very close to failing as a whole due to attendence and class flunking, thanks to my spectacular highly-defective ever-breaking person)...so yeah. I don't know, I've just become terribly lackadaisical to a fault the past couple of days and feel no guilt. I suppose it's my "taking a break" period? Ah well, I'm not to worried, screw math and do fine with the rest.
Which brings me to another problem-I want to be an atmospheric scientist. Such a field requires heaving gobfuls of mathematics, yes? Heaving gobfuls of math means that EVERY SINGLE BLOODY QUARTER is going to be a soul-destroying vortex of mathematical hell, much like this one. So, as much as I love my clouds and my weather, one can imagine how this could be a...discouragement. Frankly, at this point, I'd be perfectly amiable to the suggestion of never encountering math classes again...sooo, I've put my physics minor of next year on indefinite and am instead once again pursuing an ESL degree so JETS has no choice but to take me. In the course of this, I've also somehow stumbled over the marvelous notion of studying abroad next year for a quarter in Finland, despite the fact that I don't know a single word of Finnish. Oh, it probably has something to do with that Finland is a prime spot for fun optical phenomena like noctilucent clouds and rather keen aurorae, and that I've never been to Europe before, but so yes, it's become somewhat of an obsession of mine as of late (like within the last week) to merrily run off to Finland for no apparent reason other my whimsy. Oh, and hopefully heaps of geography credits.
I think this may also be due though to my rapidly-worsening case of wanderlust that I've worked up since the last time I returned from Japan, well over a year ago. Usually I go somewhere at least one time out of the year that is not Eastern Washington (usually Texas), and this pleases me immensely, because despite having lived here for about six years now, I still dislike it. Not as much as I disliked Alabama, mind you, but I can name many other places I'd rather be at any given time (a list which is sadly usually topped by my home state Louisiana, when the fact of the matter is that I'm more likely to visit Japan sooner than Louisiana)...I did not accompany my family to Texas this summer due to my job, so I've been here for...a while. To combat this though, I've devised a plan-I shall journey to Seattle during Winter Break with Miho, who will be staying with me for the entire break, and we shall enjoy ourselves immensely. It's curious, I've never actually been to Seattle in a non-school function sense, and thusly have never been given free reign to to traverse it. Neither has Miho, which will make it fun. So I'm kind of excited, I've already booked our flights and lodging (I'm too much of a wuss to drive and don't feel like killing my guest while she's here) and am looking at places to visit: a karaoke place, Uwajimaya, the Space Needle, the Seattle Aquarium (for the third time), Pike Street Market...if any people 'round these parts happen to be Seattle afficianados, let me know if you have any recommendations. Oops, gotta run, perhaps more tomorrow...
chronos
・kairos
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