Free at last...theoretically.
３月３日（日）3-cia Niedziela Wielkiego Postu
・23:28
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Music o' the Entry: "Kokoro" (Instrumental Version), Xenosaga
The owning never stops with this song, I swear. I need money, yes I do, so I can procure this thing. Actually, I think I'd rather save for the Xenosaga OST itself, but I'm sure as much as I like it I'm getting the Kokoro single; Joanne Hogg is just too smashing and the song is too sad for me NOT to purchase the single. If only I could merrily hop on over to Japan, pluck up a couple of CD's and skedaddle merrily back. Well, that or take Matt with me and stay in Japan for quite the while.
Unfortunately, not so much time to write this evening, as I'm quite sleepy. All apologies for the absence of last week, but it was by far the worst week I've ever experienced in my educational history. It was already hectic thanks to a fat astronomy test and monstrous English papers being due, then my high school decided it wanted in on the action as well and told me on Wednesday that if I didn't have a rough draft of a research paper in their collective hot little hands by Friday morning, then I would fail homeroom for the trimester. FAIL HOMEROOM. What the hell is *WRONG* with my school?! Oy...so yeah, I basically didn't sleep all week, consistently running on caffeine and various fumes, and did a lot more poor on my astronomy test than I would've liked to thanks to the fact that I was borderline nuts from sleep lack; trouble walking, laughing with a vaguely hysterical edge, just no good overall. So yeah, I didn't have time to finish what I was supposed to whilst working the entire time, much less have any time for auxiliary things and all that jazz. But I'm back now, and for a while hopefully, so I'll quite joyful about that.
Something quite...unexpected occurred this evening, quite recently in fact. I was in the kitchen when my father announced that my mother and he had discussed it, and due to my age and sheer hostility/unhappiness, I was no longer being required to go to church. On Sunday mornings. The one thing I thought they'd never ever let up on. However, they're not pleased about it one bit. I asked them why they're doing it, and they said I have to be able to make my own decisions eventually as a supposed "adult" and all that rot...but they still don't like it. On one hand, I'm squealing with glee, as those of you who've known me a while know that freedom from religion was one of the things I've been coveting for quite the while, one of those things that always managed to elude me thanks to my family's dogged insistence. And now I have it. But you know what? I'll still probably go to church. Just because I know how things will work out, how whenever they come home they'll be disappointed and terse with me all day and there's not a bloody thing I can do about it, how I hate that state of existence we so frequently seem to find ourselves in. I'm not sure why it took them so long to do this...unfortunately when I inquired, they said it didn't have much to do with respect for my own religious beliefs...but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. Maybe it was because church made me feel more hostile than usual this morning, how I was ready to get medieval on pretty much anyone who dared speak to me. Luckily people at my church are becoming more perceptive and are beginning to leave the girl radiating the highly angry volatile aura alone. Yeah, 'bout time I reckon...so yes, now that I have freedom from religion I probably won't take that much advantage of it, at least while I still live within the walls of this house. To all of you with religious beliefs different from your family and suffer from it, I wish this for you as well. Strange, it doesn't quite feel like the yoke has been lifted yet...my parents also mentioned something about my recently baptized brother, how my opinion and demeanor regarding church (the best word I could use would be "baleful" or "bitter") are affecting him...indeed, recently I've been getting the vague vibe from my family of that I'm already screwed up, mentally beyond recovery into what wish I was, and that my brother, in all his innocence and his malleability...why does that strike me as sort repulsive?
Ah well, need to run, it's bedtime. Hopefully tomorrow will bring tales of my meeting Matt's father and brother on Saturday, just a wee bit earlier than I had wagered...quite interesting. Ja~
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