Music o' the Entry: "I Stand Alone", Godsmack
You know, I'm not sure if I should like this song or not, but I do. It sounds very...angry and wrathful. It's not that I identify with the lyrics, because they apparently apply to the plot of The Scorpion King, which I have no interest in and shall not see, but allow me my happy angry music. Don't think I have enough of it, need to hook up with some Dir en grey albums. Kinda surprising I haven't yet, when I borrowed Ueda's MD's I was quite pleased with with them and now the new album is out...still, I'm reveling in CDishness, I managed to pick up Staind's "Break the Cycle" for $10 used the other day when I went CD-shopping briefly with Yuri. It's a great angsty festival, so one knows I am glad. I was surprised to notice the sheer amount of songs they've released on the radio...it's almost becoming nostalgic, most of the songs harken back to the Soba-days of yore...yes, I enjoy it. But since there hasn't been one in a while and I feel like it, here's a survey taken from Aorah:
01. I hurt: when people misunderstand me and are angered by it.
02. I love: probably too much.
03. I hate: my aptitude for failure and lack of purpose.
04. I cry: when I get sick of it all.
05. I fear: having to estrange my family to gain independence.
06. I hope: it won't come to that.
07. I sadden: when I see oppression that I cannot help.
08. I feel alone: when my friends recoil when I say or do something that reveals that I'm not quite straight.
09. I kill: cells in my stomach wall.
10. I talk: to whom I wish and them only, if I can help it.
11. I listen: passively.
12. I break: natural laws defining humanity, apparently.
13. I see: willful ignorance and apathy.
14. I smell: nothing, my nose is stuffed.
15. I taste: mouth-taste.
16. I work: for no one, yet.
17. I remember: being hopeful and now it's all crashing down again.
18. I hold: to my ideals, despite those that try to destroy them.
19. I hide: my sexuality.
20. I pray: I do not.
21. I walk: around campus, in the gym.
22. I drive: I *THINK* it's a 2000 bronze Dodge Neon.
23. I read: textbooks, and not enough.
24. I burn: calories.
25. I breathe: air.
26. I play: video games.
27. I miss: freedom.
28. I touch: Matt.
29. I learn: too slowly.
30. I feel: sad, pessimistic, and currently reluctant to leave my room, other than to shower and find employment.
31. I know: too little.
32. I said: Probably nothing.
33. I dream: about not too much.
34. I have: too much stuff.
35. I want: a job.
36. I fall: down and bruise something frequently. Behold the joys of klutzhood.
37. I wait: to finally be free of high school and all it signifies.
38. I need: to be free.
39. I live: just breathing.
40. I die: and am at peace.
Yeah, some of might be able to tell that I didn't have the best of days yesterday, concerning my family. School was decent enough, I finally started exercising again, which pleases me because I'd been fearing losing muscle from lack of working out and classes weren't a difficulty. And being Friday in Japanese class, we were once again graced with the presence of Yan-san, the gaijin dolt who lives and works in Japan (plus it has a rocking soundtrack, gotta hook myself up wit sum o' dat), this time apparently falling gravely ill and being cared for unexpectedly by the kowai neighbor Terada-san (I *THINK* that's his name), whose main part in the series thus far is screaming "URUSAI!!!" occasionally at the folk who live in his apartment. Of course, then the weird little kids came in and started chucking beans at the ill Yan-san, which I for some reason found hilarious. Later I figured it what it meant (apparently it signifies demons leaving the body or something. I think I'll throw beans at the next sick person I meet.), but it still strikes me and my Western mind as bizarre.
But that wasn't what I was talking about. Since it was Friday and now I drive to school (as opposed to riding a bus), I stayed late, until 12...but I have to go, later.