離れるな、離れるな、いつまでも...
01.12.30
・00:06
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Music o' The Entry: "I Will Be With You", Love Psychedelico
Whee, Diaryland just got weird on me and now the font is all funny. Oh well, I'm sure I'll survive, quite certain in fact.
Well, no results from the diabetes test yet, but the trip was in itself an adventure. Generally when I visit my doctor and he orders some stuff for the lab, I'm there in the early afternoon, due to school. Not too hard, ne? Well, I didn't know that there was apparently a demand time for the lab...for this time it was wildly crowded. I was rather aghast, but signed in anyway and sat outside with my mother and the other folk waiting, who included some of the more colourful variety: an elderly lady in a wheelchair who'd just sit there and STARE at each person periodically, a chick wearing brilliant red lipstick who just found out she's seven weeks pregnant with her fourth child and was asking everyone for a cigarette; extremely pregnant girl, who is also having her fourth, talking to Seven-Week Woman about her ex-boyfriend who she met on the way to the dope house, and finally the retarded man, who was wandering around under the watchful eye of his guardian babbling in a very high-pitched voice. After about 45 minutes of waiting, they called me in. This particular lab is equipped to deal with two people getting their blood drawn simultaneously, and the person I was with was the retarded man, who was proceeding to completely freak out while the nurse frantically quizzed him about what he was going to eat at McDonald's following this. His freaking out was very far from a benefit to me, and I got more and more uptight than I previously was; when the phlebotomist (that's the correct spelling, I looked on her ID tag) wrapped the tight rubber thing around my arm, I was shaking. Finally, she jabbed it in and she took my blood. Quite a bit of my blood, actually...keep in mind that before this, they had ordered me to fast from 12 the previous night, and it was a bit after 12 in the afternoon at this point, which means both my ulcer and blood sugar levels were going nuts, which resulted in my wilting on the chair and turning a pleasant shade of grey. Not that I didn't expect it, but it's not one of things I rack up there in the category of "Remotely Fun"...so, I laid there until I was okay. Still, I found it amusing, in this time period another guy had come back to get his blood drawn and was looking at me in this sort of mild horror...ah well, it looks much worse than it is, gimme a couple minutes' rest and life is good. Which it was, particularly after downing a grilled chicken sandwich (grilled chicken owns me, I can't eat fried hardly at all anymore. I'm such an awful Southerner. And no, for the record, I do not cook fried chicken either.). But yeah, that was my main adventure of the day; not too bad, just a tiny bit of bruising around the entry hole of the needle, now just to wait for the results...
I'm finally doing what I said I would. Kansai application? Nein. Senior project? Heavens no. I realized since I can not send in the application to Kansai until possibly late January, I might as well take the time to boost my mad kanji skillz as to make it look better on the form, since they ask how many I can write, read, and recognize. This is all made possible with KANJI POWER, my spiffy kanji workbook that teaches you the kanji one is expected to know by the time they're a second-year elementary school student. Hooray, my kanji knowledge at this time is probably equivalent to that of a first grade child. Still, I'm determined to learn the entire book (240 kanji) before I have to send in the app. It's not such a feat, given that I previously knew a goodly number so it's more like 100 new ones to learn. Plus Kartia's "text" system is helping, I've actually picked up a couple new ones from it (such as "刀", read as "katana" or "tou". Yes, it's easy, bite me.) Wish me luck on my fine kanji voyages children, perhaps I'll go find myself another kanji workbook (oh, by the way, if you're interested in the Kanji Power book, I suggest you completely ignore the tests and quizzes in it, they'll just confuse you and haven't done me any good).
I will now take this time to talk about how much The Yellow Monkey rocks. No, they're not as pretty as any of my other bands (okay, MOST of my other j-bands. So help me, the music I like happens to be performed by ridiculously pretty men. Please see L'Arc~en~Ciel, La'cryma Christi, Malice Mizer, Pierrot, Dir en grey and the entire genre of visual kei for details) but they can rock with the best of them. Actually, the vocalist CAN look pretty occasionally, he just usually doesn't. Know what I mean? Blimey, even my personal piano god Yoshiki has taken some utterly hideous not-so-perfect photographs. But I digress; I haven't heard so much of The Yellow Monkey (Koshi's favourite band, if anyone is curious, which they're not, but it's my blog so deal) but I'm becoming more educated thanks to receiving their "Golden Years: Singles 1996-2001" album for Kurisumasu. Off the album, my favourite tracks have to be "Burn", "Hanareru na", and "So Young" (possibly more forthcoming, I need to listen to the disc more extensively). Naturally, all are less than-happy-sounding ("Hanareru na" & "Burn" can sound downright mournful at times, though "Burn" is more angsty, as one could ascertain by the title), wonderful little delights. Actually, my favourite out of all of the above is currently "Hanareru na"; some may find it a bit whiny (depends on your opinion of the vocalist's voice), but I find it lovely, particularly at the part when he starts singing about the colours of many things (Yuki no iro [the colour of snow], yume no iro [colour of dream], sora " " [sky], ai " " [love], umi " " [sea], uso " " [lie], machi no iro...[city]...course, I could be wrong, I'm not looking at the kanji right now), it sounds like a perfect downward spiral into the desperation and borderline insanity produced by his loneliness and pain. Actually, come to think of it, the vocalist (need to find out that child's name, but I'm too lazy to go and look over in my CD booklet ^^;) does an excellent job in all ways of expressing those particular emotions. Indeed, "Hanareru na" is owning me like none other has done for quite a while...I asked Matt what "Hanareru na" meant (my dictionary sucks, no kanji and multiple entries. Oi.), and he said something like "separation"...so the first lines are "Hanareru na, hanareru na, itsu made mo..." (itsu made mo means "forever"). Bloody hell, have I just stumbled across another Soba song? I hate it when this happens, at this rate the child's NEVER getting out of my head. I just hope that this doesn't affect Matt & I's relationship...
Now I'm laughing. Because how can it not? Still, the relationships are totally different...I don't regard Matt with the quasi-worship (I'm still fumbling for a word to accurately describe my feelings regarding Soba. It's almost a sort of master/servant adoration type thing, though Soba has never ever tried to behave in a "masterish" sort of way to me, I can't imagine him behaving like that to anyone (he's kinda small, so I doubt it'd work...) thing...yet. But things are going well, just two more days (if you count most of Monday, because I'll be seeing him that evening) until we can finally see each other again and we will be RID of communication via MSN Messenger (if you think my typo's on this thing are incomprehensible, you ain't seen nothin'). I can't deny that it hasn't served it's purpose, but it's still highly annoying...we've been talking nightly, and I'm pleased to say that the more I talk to Matt the more I like him-it's great. For the moment. I'm scared that I'm beginning to get used to this, that it's all going to disappear in a puff of smoke...feelings of security are never good, because you're never truly safe, security is what causes people to drop their guard and then end up with a bullet hole between their eyes. Still, I'm sorely tempted to give in...we'll see. Yes, this is going to be one of the best New Year's in recent memory, his Christmas present (a Transformers the Movie poster, circa 1984; we're both nerds, if you can't tell. Of course, if you couldn't tell I'm a nerd yet and have been reading this for any definable length of time, you're in serious trouble) came in and I'm going to bring my Suikoden II art book for us to pour over (I brought over Perfect Works before break began)...it's nice to have someone to share my nerdy interests with, who even speaks English natively and isn't an otaku. Slightly odd, last night he just started randomly talking about Fushigi Yuugi and I was just gaping (For those not in the know: Fushigi Yuugi is a series by the talented Watase Yuu, an extremely shoujo series. Some, including myself at one point, have found my boyfriend physically intimidating. Large scary guys and shoujo manga are not two things you generally associate with one another.)...
Speaking of Fushigi Yuugi, yesterday my family awakened me from my mid-afternoon post-blood-sucking nap by opening my door and turning on Maury Povich very loud and obnoxiously. I was tempted to just throw the pillow over my head and valiantly attempt to slip back under the mantle of sleep, until I started hearing interesting things about not being able to tell if someone was a man or a woman. I'm sure you can tell what happened next-I was compelled to go down to the living room and watch it with my family (for them being vaguely fundamentalistish, we watch some genuinely odd things at times). What it was was parading these people who all resembled women on stage and then trying to figure out whether they're male or female. At first I proudly boasted of how I utterly rock at figuring out if something is male or female (what a talent), and this was only bolstered by the first person...for the rest of the show, my skill level plummeted and by the end I came to the conclusion that I've excellent at guessing Asian folks' genders; that makes sense, seeing as most of the convincing boys in dresses I ogle are Japanese...I was also surprised to learn how many of the contestants were Mexican. Is this just something peculiar to this show, or are there truly a large amount of transvestites in Mexico? I've never been there (not sure why not, my relatives don't live so far), but I know some of my readers have, so feel free to toss your input into the guestbook if you've a want. If so, I want to go to Mexico. I think I may have gone a little too far though and freaked out my parents, as I was quite obviously drooling over some of the men on there (nor was I trying to hide it) and my mother said something about me having a "confused sexuality"...a hard little ball of ice formed in my stomach. Is this going to lead to a confrontation that will be very traumatic for both parties involved? I think I'm going to play it safe and lowkey for...ah, the rest of the time I live in this house. I can all too clearly imagine what would happen, my parents breaking down in front of the church, asking for prayers for their "lost" daughter, getting me STD tested (they think all homosexuals are sluts. I'm neither [completely] homosexual nor a slut.) off of insanely misguided assumptions...ostracism, fear, people looking at me like I'm dirty, like I'm someone different...no. I can handle this for a few more months, then I'm off to Japan, free to be myself, not to worry about the effect it'd have on my family relationship with myself, their peers, or the church...
Ah well. Anyways, I'm out of here. For the curious, I updated the Chamber of Sound, the MIDI area of my poor neglected site (I don't recommend visiting there at the moment, most of it is in dire need of a serious revamp). Indeed, some of you know I have an unholy quantity of MIDI files, so I figured I might as well share them with the rest of the Internet...the updated sections are the Miscellaneous area (songs I like that don't fit into any of the other categories) and the J-rock/pop section, so feel free to go and sample new stuff. Mata ne minna~
chronos
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